Over, Overcome and overwhelmed

I am just completeing my 35th day post infusion which was on November 15. I can only tell you I am so glad that the stem cell transplant is over. I am blessed to have overcome a lot of the complications that come with this procedure and I can tell you that it is an overwhelming experience. I am not going to spend all your reading time telling you all the details of this process because you don't want to hear me whine but I can tell you that I have never had such feelings and emotions as I have had during my confinement and recovery. I thought I was prepared for long days of hospital confinement but I was not. My heart now goes out to those people who I hear about who have spent months in the hospital for their illnesses. I thought I was mentally ready to handle the fluids and chemotherapy and the daily reporting of my blood counts and hearing the nurses discuss what to expect with the low blood counts that they reported. I was not prepared. My heart so aches now when I hear of someone who is battling cancer because the disruption to your family and life are so profound it is an overwhelming experience. There is another facet of cancer that comes into play and that is depression which I have had to experience. Depression can paralyze and destroy your life if you don't get help.
I thank God for his grace and healing hand. I am feeling better today than I have in 2 months. I continue to seek God's will for my life and believe he has healed me for his purpose. I will worship him for his grace and guidance. I ask that you continue to pray for me and Kaye especially Kaye as she goes in for a colonostomy on Thursday of this week. If you are trapped by confinement or depression I urge you to look to God for direction and comfort. It can be overwhelming as the stem cell procedure was for me and Kaye but God is able to help you endure and I truly believe only God was able to help me through my confinement and this procedure.

God bless you all